What are some objects that you've shoved up your ass

when they most definitely don't belong there?

- A Comb

- An Ice cream scoop handle

- A Malt beverage glass bottle (don't recommend since I heard someone on DL say your muscles can crush the bottle)

- An electric toothbrush

Just enemas and suppositories. Also, OP is a weirdo...

R1 this coming from a 70 year old with a shrivled up cunt that no has touched in over 4 decades.

A "man rod". Oh, the shame, the shame! 😭

A statue of St Monica (just the head)

R2 - nobody has ever touched it because I am an exclusive top. I have an asshole and a dick, not a cunt (which I could, and have, fucked).

A few penises and maybe a dick or two, if we want to call them that!

Oddly enough, OP, also an ice cream scope handle and a brush handle.

A lava lamp (just the tip). A lint roller A banana

At the tender age of 20. I discovered a baseball bat. The best part was gently shoving up my ass dry.

Then, hardly touching my peen, cum everywhere.

Also used queue balls off a pool table as an alternate.

Today, on "Tales from the ER..."

argh, I started a book just today about the child-killer Robert Black today and apparently he had a thing about sticking a bunch of things up his ass and taking Polaroids of it. He would break into the pool he worked at and swim lengths with a broom up his asshole. Everyone who met him commented about his horrific body odour too. (Not gay though; he was a pedo.)

Seems like OP is pretty lonely.

A young came into the ER one night with an apple stuck up his ass. When his father arrived to give consent, he told us "Teach him a lesson. Leave it there for awhile".

I had a client that her job was to catalog all of the things that came out of people at the ER. Probably the weirdest thing was a three foot long pool flotation noodle.

A banana, firm not ripe or even ready to eat.

The Complete Works of William Shakespeare, annotated edition

I am a British sex worker. With a message of support from Meghan Markle that she personally wrote along with chips and a drink, I shoved three bananas up me bum. Ms. Markle always says just the right thing.

R13, what kind of 'consent' is needed from parents to remove an apple? You just made that up, didn't you?

That was beautiful and touching R18. You have not only told your truth, as a banana whore, you have FOUND FREEDOM!

I once was climbing on a chair to put away dishes after Sunday dinner and slipped and landed on a potato which lodged itself in my arse.

As potatoes are wont to do.

R20-This was in the early 80's, butch, and hospitals all over the country required minors have adult approval.

R1. OP is obviously Amy Klobuchar

A complete replica of Lucy and Ethel's super-sized homemade bread loaf. I also had room enough for a bag of chips to spare.

A tightly rolled up October, 1976 Good Housekeeping,

Plastic banana, an icicle (yes, it was very cold), glass cologne bottle.

An entire baseball bat, which quickly got lost

A telephone pole

The Washington Monument

You know,... just the usual.